Madness / Crazy / Altered State / Nervous Breakdown / Psychosis
If you told me that someone I was around had a psychotic disorder before I got sick with one, I’m not sure how I would have reacted. In all honesty, I probably would have run the other way.
Before I had my first “nervous breakdown,” or went mad/crazy, or had my first psychotic episode, or however you want to put it - I associated psychosis with crime and deviance. Most of the examples we’re shown in the media of psychosis are of people who are violent and dangerous. The truth is that there are instances where someone's mental illness includes what I call moral illness. However, the majority of us who’ve been psychotic are simply trying to lead a normal life and haven’t killed anyone.
Statistically, 3/100 people will experience some form of psychosis in their lifetime. That extrapolates to a lot of people. I’m not saying that most psychosis is easy to deal with, it’s not an easy thing for anyone involved. When you’re disconnected from reality, you may act strange. You may get angry at people who are experiencing reality differently than you. If you’re like me, you’ll act in a way that you’ll be embarrassed about later. Psychosis is to be avoided when you can, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person if you’ve experienced it.
The stigma is bad, so the people who are winning against their illness typically don’t speak up. Because not a lot of people speak up, the stigma stays.
When you’re psychotic, you can wrongly and strongly believe someone is an enemy when they’re not, and this can cause all sorts of issues. The times I lost my insight completely, I was thankfully in the safety of a psych ward. Most of the time, I’ve been convinced that something was going on, but there’s always been an element of confusion and lack of total conviction to any one belief. With some critical thinking intact, I would debunk one wrong belief only to have my mind present another. This isn’t very pleasant, but it's better than being totally convinced of something that isn’t real.
Getting medicated was so important. Change the body, change the mind. If I didn’t get help when I did, my story may have gone differently. This is why early intervention is also so important and why fighting the stigma is so crucial so folks feel comfortable asking for help.
I’m not exactly sure what the difference is between someone like me and those who’ve committed monstrous acts like the ones we see in the media. I don’t know where that sort of deviance comes from. That’s a very hard question, and I realize how complicated morality is. I don’t offer medical advice, so I can’t tell you how to deal with someone who is psychotic. I will ask though, that you consider the fact that psychosis is a mental and not a moral issue.
Just because someone’s been psychotic doesn’t mean they’re always that way. I’m happy to report that I’m doing really well with medication and therapy. If you struggle with psychosis, know that there’s hope. I know dealing with the stigma can be hard, but you don’t have to believe it. Psychosis is a symptom of mental and not moral illness
